During my interaction with the officers in different forums, I realised that every one of us views money differently. Money is something we all deal with daily, whether it’s paying bills, buying groceries, or saving for something special. Yet, many of us struggle with our relationship with money, feeling stressed or confused about how to manage it. Our relationship with money is one of our lives most intricate, emotional, and often misunderstood aspects. It shapes our choices, influences our emotions, and even colours our perceptions of success and happiness. But what does it mean to have a “relationship” with money? And how can we better understand this relationship to lead more fulfilling lives?
The Emotional Baggage
Let’s start with the story of Monica, a successful marketing executive in her mid-thirties. Monica grew up in a household where money was always tight. Her parents often argued about bills, and financial instability was a constant undercurrent in her life. As an adult, Monica vowed to never experience that kind of stress again. She worked hard, climbed the corporate ladder, and eventually earned a six-figure salary. But despite her financial success, Monica never felt secure. She saved obsessively, rarely indulging in anything beyond the basics. To Monica, money was safety, and the fear of losing it overshadowed the joy of having it.
Monica’s story is not uncommon. Many people carry emotional baggage around money, often rooted in childhood experiences. For some, money is tied to security; for others, it might represent freedom, power, or even love. These emotional associations influence how we earn, spend, and save.
The Freedom of Letting Go
Now consider Harish, a freelance graphic designer. Harish had always been a bit of a free spirit, living in the moment and embracing spontaneity. His relationship with money was equally carefree. He believed in working just enough to get by and never stressed about saving or investing. For years, this approach worked for him. Harish enjoyed his life of travel and adventure, never feeling tied down by a traditional career.
But as Harish approached his forties, he began to notice a shift. Friends started settling down, buying homes, and planning for retirement. Harish, meanwhile, had little to show for his years of work. He started feeling anxious about the future. What if he couldn’t work as much in his later years? What if he needed money for an emergency?
Harish’s relationship with money evolved as he realized that while his carefree attitude had served him well in the past, it was time to strike a balance between enjoying the present and planning for the future. He didn’t need to become a financial guru, but by adopting a more mindful approach to money, he found a sense of freedom in knowing he could still enjoy his lifestyle while also feeling secure about the future.
The Trap of Comparison
Let’s not forget Sarla, a teacher who enjoyed a comfortable life. She wasn’t wealthy, but she had enough to meet her needs and occasionally splurge on something special. However, Sarla often found herself comparing her financial situation to that of her friends, who seemed to have more—bigger homes, nicer cars, and exotic vacations. This comparison started to breed discontent. Sarla began to feel inadequate as if her financial stability wasn’t enough.
Sarla’s story highlights a common trap many of us fall into: the comparison game. With social media constantly showcasing curated glimpses of other people’s lives, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short. But the truth is, our relationship with money is deeply personal. What works for one person may not work for another. Sarla eventually realised that contentment doesn’t come from having more but from appreciating what you have. She began focusing on her own financial goals that truly made her happy, rather than trying to keep up with others.
Redefining Success
Consider the story of Anil, a corporate lawyer who spent decades chasing success. For Anil, money was synonymous with achievement. The more he earned, the more successful he felt. He worked long hours, often sacrificing time with family and friends in the pursuit of wealth. But after years of this relentless drive, Anil found himself feeling empty. Despite his financial success, he was unhappy.
Anil’s story illustrates the importance of defining what success truly means. Money can provide comfort and opportunities, but it shouldn’t be the sole measure of a successful life. Anil eventually took a step back to reassess his priorities. He shifted his focus from earning more to living a more balanced life—spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, and giving back to his community. This change brought him a deeper sense of fulfilment than money ever could.
Finding Joy in Simplicity
Alisha used to spend a lot of money on clothes, gadgets, and dining out, thinking these things would make her happy. But over time, she realised that the thrill of new purchases faded quickly, leaving her with less money and more stuff. Alisha started exploring the idea of minimalism and decided to simplify her life. She focused on spending money only on things that truly brought her joy, like experiences with loved ones, rather than material goods. This shift not only helped Alisha save money but also made her feel happier and more content. She learned that true wealth comes from enjoying what you have, rather than always wanting more.
Planning for Family and Future
Capt Rajdeep and his wife had just welcomed their first child. They realised they needed to start planning for their family’s future, including buying a house and saving for their child’s education. Rajdeep set goals to save & invest for buying a house and education fund for his son’s graduation. He adjusted his budget, cutting back on entertainment and unnecessary expenditures, and started putting money into his investments. Though the process required discipline, Rajdeep felt more secure knowing he was preparing for his family’s future. His goals gave him a clear direction and a sense of purpose with his finances.
Building a Healthy Relationship with Money
So, how can we build a healthier relationship with money? Here are a few key takeaways:
- Understand Your Money Story: Reflect on how your upbringing and past experiences have shaped your views on money. Shed your fears or habits that no longer serve you.
- Define Your Values: What does financial success look like to you? Is it about security, freedom, or the ability to give back? Knowing your values will help you make financial decisions that align with your true goals.
- Practice Gratitude: Instead of focusing on what you lack, appreciate what you have. This shift in perspective can lead to greater contentment and less stress.
- Balance the Present and the Future: Find a balance that allows you to live fully in the present while preparing for the future.
- Avoid Comparison: Your financial journey is unique. Don’t let comparisons to others dictate your happiness or self-worth.
In the end, money is just a resource, inherently neither good nor bad. It’s how we use it, and more importantly, how we relate to it, that determines its impact on our lives. By understanding and nurturing our relationship with money, we can use it to build not just a secure future, but a rich and fulfilling present.